"It was the best sex I ever had," the client told me. I was not surprised.

Was it advice about a new position, a new drug, a new game, a new aide that enabled the client to enjoy the best sex of his life? Of course not.

The best sex is caused by what goes on inside you and not from some external gimmick.

So what was it that enabled this client to have dynamite sex like he had never had before? More importantly, what is that can enable you to experience the greatest sex of your life? This kind of sex is so thrilling you will feel like a new person and you will want to shout, "Give me more!" The beauty of it is you will be able to get more, plenty more.

There is a sad part. The sad part is not that it costs more than you could ever afford. It won't take years of studying a new spirituality. You won't have to leave your home. You won't have to do anything bad to yourself or anyone else. The sad part is that you probably don't think it's possible. That's OK, because most sexually addicted people believe that their sexual addiction is the best sex they can have.

Actually, addictive sex is the least enjoyable form of sex.

But sexual addiction does have its appeal:

• It enables you to be in complete control.
  
  
• You can't be rejected.
  
  
• You can't fail.
  
  
• You do get a thrill.
  
  
• You can't lose - until it's over.
  
  
• Then reality sets in.
  
  

I don't have to tell you about the consequences of reality. What you need from me is the secret of great sex.

Here it is:

Non-addictive, genuine loving sex in a real relationship is the absolute best sex there is. It is the greatest high, the greatest thrill, the greatest charge in life.

The client you read about in the first paragraph experienced it through this counseling. Many, many clients have. Let's find out why.

In this counseling you start by understanding that you have a natural, inborn need for good sex. Natural sex is not something to feel guilty about. It is not something to be denied, repressed or resisted. But it is something that can be abused. When the natural need for sex is abused it becomes an addictive compulsion.

Once you become addicted, the natural desire for genuine, loving sex is overwhelmed by the addictive compulsion to escape. Which brings us to the question: Escape what?

In a word: "life." In a phrase: "the troubles, difficulties and hassles of living."

When sex is used as an escape it is not really a pleasure. It's a relief. There is a profound difference between pleasure and relief. Relief is like banging your head against the wall because it feels good when you stop.

Pleasure is the enjoyment of a healthy mind and body.

The difference between addictive sex and natural sex is the difference between screwing and making love.

When you screw someone you use their body to provide you with a thrill. When you make love you are emotionally involved. Your body is an expression of the feelings you have for that person. Their body is an expression of the feelings they have for you.

Addictive sex screws you. Natural sex spiritually nourishes you.

Addictive sex screws you because:

• It overwhelms your need for natural sex.
  
  
• It entices you into a life of compulsion.
  
  
• It fills you with fantasies that can never come true.
  
  
• It puts up a barrier between you and reality.
  
  
• It separates you from real emotions.
  
  
• It teaches you to hide, to sneak and to live with shame and guilt.
  
  

Natural sex is not shameful. It doesn't lead to guilt. It entices you to enjoy life and to enjoy yourself and your partner. It fills you with real emotions, not fantasies. It teaches you to love life. It can make you laugh, cry, sing, dance, or just fall asleep blissfully. It fills you with a special, wonderful feeling that you can't get any other way. It makes addictive sex look like a bad joke told by a boring stand-up comic in a sleazy nightclub.

So how does someone tell the difference between their natural sex drive and their addictive sex drive?

As a general rule - not true in all cases - sex outside of a healthy relationship is addictive. For instance:

• Going to prostitutes is a definite sign of sexual addiction.
  
  
• Using pornography to the extent that you neglect your partner in real life is another sign of sexual addiction.
  
  
• Or using pornography as a substitute for real sex is still another indication of being sexually addicted.
  
  
• Masturbation can be also indicate sexual addiction.
  
  

The Sex Addiction Interview can help you decide if you are sexually addicted or not.

The Most Personal Addiction, The Advisories and The Home Page Topics will help you get started in overcoming sex addiction correctly.